Wednesday 30 April 2014

A problem shared is a problem halved...

Initiating the conversation with someone that you think you may be suffering from or have been diagnosed with a mental illness is one aspect of the whole thing which I have found the most difficult.
Although the blog post is written from the point of a view of someone who has had to have this particular type of conversation this may be helpful for those who need or want to start a conversation about anything to anyone.

For me, talking has been the best possible therapy whether it has just been a quick chat to someone about my anxiety or eventually plucking up the courage to speak to a doctor. I understand how difficult speaking about serious problems can be for some people and it especially doesn’t come easy when it is something you find hard to talk about openly.  There may be many reasons for feeling nervous about talking about your problem. One reason for me actually was having to admit there was something wrong and accepting that I have an anxiety disorder,saying it out loud makes it real. 

Initially it is important you talk to someone you trust and feel you can talk to about your problem. It is more than likely that you are going to be talking about an issue which can make you feel uncomfortable so finding the right person to begin the conversation with is vital. In some cases this could be your doctor and in that case you will already be taking the first step to feeling better and accepting that something is wrong. For me although going to the doctors wasn’t my first port of call the conversation I did have with the doctor immediately made me feel better because he understood how and why I was feeling the way I did. I also believe that it can be the hardest thing telling people who you are close to and speaking to someone who has experience of people suffering with the same symptoms as yourself can be reassuring it itself.

If you are a person who is listening during this conversation remember that this person has chosen to open up about something which is possibly very difficult for them to talk about. Try to come across as relaxed as possible and although you may not understand how this person is feeling make them aware that you are there to listen.

I think it is important to find the right time and place to begin your conversation about your problem. You want to feel as comfortable as possible when you are discussing how you feel. This may be that you would prefer to be at home in a familiar environment or you may feel better going for a coffee or doing something which you would do on a day to day basis which could encourage you to feel more ‘normal’ about the conversation you are going to have. Being away from home could also offer more opportunity to talk about different things and not just focus on your problem. 

Again, if you are reading this and you are on the receiving end of the conversation it is helpful if you perhaps change the subject of the conversation if the other person is showing signs of feeling uncomfortable. However it is imperative that you make them aware that you are there to listen and offer support and advice and will help in any way possible (this is most likely to be different with different people and different situations).
Take your time and don’t feel that you have to rush and tell everyone you know about how you feel. 
You may find you will need more than one conversation about your issue with the same person or you will need to repeat it to different people. 

You may not want to start the initial conversation face to face with someone, perhaps you could send an email or text message rather than saying everything all in one go. This means the person who is discussing their problems should be patient with the person who is listening and realise that it may take time for them to understand how you are feeling. And vice-versa for the other person, allow the individual to take their time and not to rush them into talking or taking the next steps.

I find that due to the lack of understanding other people have about mental illness this makes it harder for the sufferer to talk openly about it. Although there are many charities etc. which aim to get rid of the stigma attached to mental health a lot of people still make their own assumptions on how that individual should be feeling. I strongly suggest that people on both sides of the conversation should do their own personal research about whatever the issue may be in order to get a brief understanding. Perhaps the sufferer could print out some information or use a book to try and make it easier to for the other person to understand more about how they are feeling. 

I hope these few little pointers help when it comes to talking to someone about any problems you may have.
Let me know if you have any other methods and advice regarding this topic! 


Wednesday 23 April 2014

A Thought for Thursday #8...

No matter how rubbish you think your day has been... 


Silence is louder than words...

I am in another one of my ranty moods and this is a topic which I have pondered about for quite a while now.

In my opinion being quiet doesn’t always mean you are a shy person. People who are thought to be quiet always have to provide an explanation for being the way they are because being slightly introverted is regarded as negative. I don’t consider myself to be a particularly shy person but numerous people have labelled me as being quiet.

It is another one of those judgements where people assume that quiet people lack the ability to be socially adequate. Maybe these people appear to quiet because they don’t get an opportunity to get a word in edge ways when they are surrounded by ‘loud’ people. Basically you don’t need to be a person shy to be classed as an introvert it just means you are quite happy being in your own company which to me isn’t always a bad thing.

I get the impression that we are all lead to believe that those who are loud and who are always the centre of attention are doing the right thing.  People use the fact that an individual who is quiet as having a poor personality. For example I have genuinely heard people say that someone is a nice person apart the fact that they are a quiet but never about someone who is more outgoing.
Being loud is always viewed in a positive way, being loud means you are confident and sociable and this must mean you have lots of friends.Just because you are quiet and perhaps prefer to keep your thoughts to yourself this doesn't mean you are inadequate compared with other people. We are falsely led to believe that introverted people cannot possibly make a difference and influence ideas and change.

I wrote this post a few weeks ago but haven’t actually got round to finishing it or like usual thinking it wasn’t good enough to share. There is an article in this month’s Company magazines which fits in perfectly with this blog post. It discusses how the internet provides ‘quiet’ people with the platform to finally speak their mind which they may not have been able to do so before.

This is exactly how I feel and I am sure many other bloggers do also. It has given me the opportunity to talk openly about an issue is which very important and close to my heart which I perhaps wouldn’t of got the chance to do. Because I am ‘quiet’, without the internet I wouldn’t have been able to share my thoughts to thousands of other people and help people like I have done already.


Having the ability to express yourself through different ways allows you to accept being you instead of hiding away and doubting your own beliefs. Just like Company magazine says ‘quiet’/introverted people still have just as many amazing personality traits and skills as ‘loud’/extroverted people, so instead of taking a back seat behind those who don’t stop talking, why not get your voice heard but in your own individual way!

Tuesday 22 April 2014

Sorry I have been AWOL for a couple of weeks, new blog posts will be up ASAP. I hope everyone had a lovely Easter and in the meantime...


Thursday 10 April 2014

A Thought for Thursday #7...

Think.







Things to do when your having a rubbish day!

Everyone has down days or 'wobble' days as I like to call them. This includes every single person whether they have been diagnosed with some kind of mental illness or not. If like me you are very self critical when you do have a 'wobble' day you will blame yourself and in turn make yourself feel 10 times worse about not feeling 100% OK.

But we have to remember its normal to have these kind of days, its just part of life and ladies in particular you will all understand what I mean when it comes to our monthly occurrences.
So I think it is important that instead of making yourself feel worse you should make an effort to do little things you enjoy and treat yourself.

I have made a list of a few things to do when you happen to have one of those kind of days.


  1. Listen to your favourite songs/music, maybe even make a playlist with all those random songs (make it as cheesy as you want to).
  2. Put on said playlist and dance like an idiot. (Preferably Now That's what I Call 90's)
  3. Actually have a cry, let it all out. 
  4. Read, a great book or magazine
  5. Get in touch with someone you haven't spoken to for ages. (use wisely)
  6. Be selfless, think about other people instead of your own situation, put things into perspective. 
  7. Wear your favourite outfit. 
  8. Have a duvet day.
  9. Have a nap. 
  10. Make your own list like this one.
  11. Watch a film, again as cheesy as possible. 
  12. Be organised, sort out your wardrobe, make sure your diary/Filofax is up to date. 
  13. Set yourself goals, then reflect on them after a certain amount of time, see how well you are doing.
  14. Wear your favourite bright lipstick, just because. 
  15. Eat comfort food. 
  16. Meet a friend for tea & cake = the best pick me up! (Rebecca Dilks, you know who you are!) 
  17. Just drink tea in general. 
  18. Have a bath
  19. Catch up on your favourite TV programmes. 
  20. Indulge in your guilty pleasures, = more cheesy films.
  21. Look at old pictures. 
  22. Go to the cinema and have pop corn. 
  23. Get some fresh air, go for a run or a walk. (Weather permitting)
  24. Have a pamper sessions, face mask, nails etc. (You too boys)
  25. Have a take away. 
  26. Do 100 happy days challenge. (Not everyday is always good, but there is something good in everyday)
  27. Make a list of all the things you are grateful for. 
  28. Go on Pinterest!
  29. Do some exercise. 
  30. Have a make up free day. 
  31. Wear your comfiest clothes. 
  32. Have a rant. 
  33. Do something childish. 
  34. Eat Jelly. 
  35. Have a hot choc, with cream, marsh mellows, all the works. 
  36. Do something creative. 
  37. Do someone a favour. 
  38. Hug your pet. 
  39. Make notes about your worries/problems, share them with someone else. 
  40. Get a Pick 'n' Mix with all your fav sweets. 
So there are just a few random things, but I am sure the list can go on and on and is probably different for every one of us. What do you like to do when you are having a rubbish day? 


Sunday 6 April 2014

Monthly Goals - April!

Without sounding cliche, 'I cannot believe it is April already'! It really feels like I have only just got back from Cornwall after New Year. 

Just like at the beginning of March I am going to give myself some monthly goals whilst at the same time reviewing the ones from last month. Spring is one of my Fav times of year, I love that it is staying lighter for longer, I love Easter and hopefully the weather will start to become nicer very soon! Happy April Everyone!


Keeping Fit
I have started back at circuit training and have kept up once or twice a week for 5 weeks now. I am already feeling better and seeing positive results. Whilst we were training for the 10K race last year we stopped with any core strength training and I definitely felt the strain on my lower back. I prefer combining cardio, weights and core strength exercises for an all round effect. I haven't actually got back into running but now the evenings are getting lighter I will hopefully fit in a couple each week. So my goal for April is to just make sure I keep up my fitness because it helps me mentally as well as physically. 

Staying Positive
I really feel like I have tried very hard with this goal throughout March. I feel much better for having a different perspective on things. This has been due to a combination of things but starting back working again has had an impact on how I feel and just being around lovely people has made me feel much better about life in general. I have recently decided to stop caring as much about people who don't care about me and waste time getting hung on what other people think. I believe I have met certain people for a reason recently and this month I am going to concentrate on those who want to be part of my life. I have definitely started to accept myself more and I already feel so much happier just being able to be myself. Basically I just need to keep up with this thought pattern everyday in April! 

Blogging
Throughout March I have continued to receive amazing feedback about my blog and the posts I have shared. I have had numerous messages from people including some I don't even know saying I have already helped them and they can relate to what I have written. I can't even explain how genuinely happy I feel that I can actually help and make a difference by doing something I am so passionate about. It has given me the motivation and encouragement to keep writing it and hopefully I can develop some of my further ideas to help people in April.  


Spring clear out 
I have decided I am going to sort my wardrobe out at some point very soon. I am going to donate all the clothes I don't really wear anymore to Charity Chicks in Rotherham. Not only will I be making more space in my wardrobe I will also be helping towards the fundraising for a very important charity. 

All proceeds from the Charity Chicks Boutique go to support children’s charity SAFE@LAST. SAFE@LAST works in South Yorkshire with children and young people who are sixteen and under and at risk through running away.  They provide a range of services including a helpline, one to one support for young people and their families, education and prevention project, detached street work project and the only children’s refuge in the UK.  
I have started volunteering for SAFE@LAST on their helpline and part of their preventative education programme. Their work is amazing and inspires me to continue with my passion of helping people. 




Thursday 3 April 2014

A Thought for Thursday #6

I think you should start to accept the little things which make you, you!

 If its not the same as everyone else who cares, Its OK to be different! :) 


Wednesday 2 April 2014

The Benefits of Yoga

Numerous people including my doctor recommended that I starting doing Yoga or Pilates as a technique to ease the symptoms of my anxiety. 


 In all honesty again I was quite skeptical about joining a class and just like the stereotype goes I thought it would be all old ladies in leotards who trump a lot. I struggled to find a local class which I would be able to go to until I saw a leaflet for a class starting near by at the beginning of the year. A combination of doing a bit of research and having not done much in terms of exercise for a couple of months I decided I wanted to try something new. Having never done anything like yoga before except attempting a couple of poses on the Wii fit I wasn't really sure what expect. 

So we joined the class in January and have been going every week for 12 weeks. I can honestly say I cannot believe how good Yoga is both physically and mentally. It has without a doubt helped me in a variety of different ways. We have learnt so much in the short time we have been going and they are all little things you can remember and do at home as well. 

Below are a few of the never ending list of benefits Yoga can have on your body, both physically and mentally;


  • Although you don't get a sweat on and you don't particularly feel like you are doing anything physical at the time, you stretch every muscle in your body during each class and it definitely feels like you've had a workout the day after. It has definitely made my muscles stronger and improved my strength. The first time I went back to my circuit training class I was dreading how I was going to feel the day after. Surprisingly I didn't ache like I used to at all and during the class I noticed I could do more reps without my muscles feeling tired as quickly. Although Yoga isn’t a direct route to weight loss I have noticed that my stomach is gradually getting more toned. So a combination of circuit training and yoga is the perfect balance for me. 

  • Doing also Yoga improves your sleeping. It is never something I have ever really struggled with but I would really recommend it if you are someone who struggles with insomnia. The night after doing a Yoga class I have the best nights sleep and sleep solidly all night without waking up once. 

  • Not only does Yoga make you feel relaxed and calm during the class by doing the breathing exercises, relaxation techniques and just generally helping you to clear your mind, I have already noticed a difference in myself, overall I feel much calmer, the amount of 'wobble' days I have had has got less and the extent of my panic attacks has reduced . 

I am thinking of doing a series of blog posts sharing the different poses, stretches and techniques we have learnt at Yoga and I will go into more detail about specific areas. 


Picture from Pinterest